What's in a Family?

My cute niece, Josie, at my sister Ashley's reception.

I spent an excellent weekend in Las Vegas. My siste who got married a few weeks ago had her reception. It was a really lovely affair. I got to spend some good quality time with Chris. It was great. Jinny and Kimball were kind enough to host us, and it was great to get to spend some more time with them and catch up. Jinny really is one of the best friends I have/have ever had, and also has the biggest heart. You know you've got a great friend when, after being around them, you want to be a better person and have faith that you can be better. Jinny is just that kind of friend.

I don't know if it's that I'm older or married or what, but I feel like every time I go home it gets better. I feel less like I'm slipping through the cracks—and never like I want to. I used to feel that way around my huge family; I could only handle so much of them, and after a while I would drift off to my room to hole up and read. I remember feeling like I didn't have a place in a family so full of people.

But now I love every minute of being around them. Things get easier with all of my siblings and my parents. Not that it was ever very hard, because my family is AMAZING and we all get along and are very close. Maybe my family treats me more like an adult, or maybe I just am more adult—more grown up and in a better place. But still, it's a great feeling. They are amazing people, all very different, but all full of hope and love and charity. I'm so blessed to have them in my life and to be a part of such a great fam.

Also, it's getting so lovely out. There are tulips along our walkway. Freakin' tulips! Those don't grow in Vegas, and were sort of rare even in Rexburg. I am loving spring time.

Chris got accepted to an Interactive Media program at Elon in NC. He's really excited about it, and I'm proud of him. We'll be spending the next few months preparing/scraping money together to go. Everyone I've talked to has said the NC is really green, even if the people there can be blatantly racist. It'll be an adventure.

The Name Game

“How do you feel about the name Milton?”

“Do you hate that kid?” Chris replied.

“Maybe I would,” I retorted.

“Then Milton would be a great name.”

Any time I suggest a name to Chris, this is pretty much how the conversation goes. I tend to like old-fashioned names, like Wilford or Madge. Or names that have literary significance, like Seymour (from J.D. Salinger’s Glass family) or Finnegan (James Joyce). Or ones that do both, like Ezra (Pound) or Virginia (Woolf).

But then Chris likes really boring names. Like Peter or Jane.

For now, it’s a fun game. But I have the feeling that some day my husband is going to pay off some doctor to put me under long enough to change the kid’s name to something more innocuous than Ernest. You know, like pretty much any name out there.

Nonetheless, there are a few names we’ve managed to agree on. Here they are:

Male:
Seth
Liam
Peter

Female:
Leila
Jean
Kalina (Lina for short)

Also, this is tangential, but what is up with parents giving their kids long names with the intention of shortening them? If you want a kid called Cal, name him Cal, not freaking Callahan. Want an Emmy? How’s about just naming your daughter Emmy instead of Emeline?

Now, if it’s a family name and then you shorten it or something like that, that’s fine. Whatever. But the rest of you parents, cut it out.

Don’t burden your kid with the name Gertrude if she’s just gonna end up being Trudy. In fact, don’t name her Gertrude at all. Even I can agree that that’s cruel.

I would get what I wanted ... if I just knew what that was

If trying to work out a wedding has taught me anything, it is that I really have no idea what I really want.

Take my dress, for instance. I have long been convinced that I wanted a shorter dress, and had specifics in mind.

But then I went and actually tried on dresses, and while I found one that was tea-length and adorable, it failed to convince me that it was all I'd ever wanted in a wedding dress. Or dress I'll be wearing to my reception. Or whatever you would call it.

So I tried on long dresses, and found a couple I liked, but still nothing that I wanted to take home with me.

So here I am, with only a little more than two months ahead of me, at a sort of impasse with myself. On one hand, I'm really whatever about my dress. I will wear it once and then pretty much be done with it. It seems silly to spend a lot of time stressing out about it.

But, on the other hand, it really does matter to me. I want to look absolutely beautiful. I want to look back on that day and feel the vivacity and loveliness of that day.

I want a skirt that is knee-length, to avoid sweatiness and show of my stems. But then I want that is long and A-line and will swirl out around me when I dance.

Do you see my problem? Too conflicted.

Let's not even discuss the veil.

But at least I'm positive about the groom.