Stress for stress' sake

I'm becoming Bridezilla.

Don't worry—you didn't miss anything.

I'm not engaged —

just the editor for the Bride's Guide produced here at BYU—I.

Which is pretty ironic, considering that the part I dread most about the possibility of one day getting hitched is the whole wedding fiasco.

I could care less about flowers or cakes or centerpieces, and planning makes me anxious.

If there is anything that is possibly more painful than planning a wedding, it's planning a magazine about planning weddings.

Today we had the photo shoot for the cover. I was stressed out about it for a number of reasons. One, because this is the first cover of the Bride's Guide that was shot specifically to be a cover, and not just something a nice photographer is letting us use. It really has no general precedence, so a lot of the ideas and process were from scratch. Secondly, this is the first magazine cover I've really had to plan and make happen. A cover everyone will see.

And remember how planning makes me anxious?

Between trying to figure what props, etc. we needed, getting dresses from a local bridal shop, trying to line up times, photographer, reserving a studio, I was ready to go into a coma.

And what's worse is that I allowed myself to become crazy because of all of it. I'm not a detail person, so details?

They drive me crazy.

And somewhere between picking out fonts and deciding on a concept for the cover, the details jammed up my synapses and I morphed into Bride's-Guidezilla.

Finally, today we are in the studio. Our model, Meredith, is cooperative, sweet and fun. She's a recently-returned missionary, and totally gorgeous in the dress: a simple sheath, free of embellishment, the flares at the bottom, with an almost pearlescent sheen.

Joey snaps away taking pictures; after a moment, they appear on the screen. They look great; better than I'd imagined.

On the inside I sigh, glad to actually be doing instead of just planning and fussing. It's a relief to finally see the project.

And I realized that only about half the stressing I did actually helped lead me to this product. The rest of it was just me worrying and fretting over things that were unimportant or outside of my control.

When it comes down to it, I know that the magazine will go to print in a week and a half looking totally fabulous, and it won't be because I stressed about it. Actually, it probably won't even be because of anything I did (or didn't) do.

How about you? What things do you needlessly stress over or worry about?

I'm an English major. Expect disdain.

I study English.

Which, as you probably know, makes me pretentious.

By definition of being an English major, I know more and have better tastes than you. It's just a fact.

Another byproduct of studying literature is the gross compulsion I have, upon finishing a good book, to talk about it. In fact, it often pains me to read books outside of a class, because the chances of finding an intelligent human to discuss it with are greatly reduced.

For instance, I just finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I was in the Spori office with it sitting next to me, and a friend walked up to me and asked me how I liked it. I replied that while it was a very despairing, I still found it very hopeful.

"Yea, I didn't really like his punctuation style. He left out apostrophes all over the place--it drove me crazy," he said.

I stared at him blankly. That's the style he wrote it in; that's the point, I explained. It helps construct the monotonous tone.

"I don't know. And what's up with the boy and the father not having names? That drove me crazy. And I really wish the book had had more of an exposition. We don't even know how the world got to its post-apocalyptic state," he said.

Again, I was confused. An exposition? Names? They would have ruined the book. It would be a completely different novel.

The father and son remaining nameless—that was the point. When there is only one person in your world, do they need a name? Do they need some distinguishing label?

I guess, as an English major, I have had an abiding trust of authors and writers imbedded in my psyche. When a writer does something like leave a character nameless, or drop me into a post-apocalyptic world without much explanation, I assume it is for a reason. There is a purpose for this, a statement being made, and if I don’t see it, it just means I need to look harder.

But then, maybe I shouldn’t go around assuming these writers are smart. At least, smarter than me.

Perhaps my friend is right, and he does know better than Mr. McCarthy how his book should have been written.

For now, I think I'll just have to stop reading extracurricularly.

It's causing me to lose faith in my generation.

The Upside of Journalism

I really enjoy writing for the school newspaper. True, it is a lot of work, and sucks a lot of my time, but I love the practice I am getting with writing. It is a whole different style, and the journalism side of things is definitely honing my focus with writing. My articles are getting more cohesive, and I am proud of them. While sometimes it drives me crazy when I hit a wall and just cannot seem to pull the aricle together, I eventually get over that hump. And then it is that much more satisfying to hold the beautiful finished product in my hand!

One thing that I really love is that writing articles gives me an excuse to meet a lot of different people. The last article I published was about the handmade movement (if you don't know what that is, check out http://www.etsy.com/ and http://www.buyhandmade.org/). I went to a swap meet some students in the business department hosted and got to go around and meet a lot of crafters and artists who were selling their goods there. It was great to have an excuse to talk to them more, and to bring up questions you wouldn't in regular conversation.

Today, as well, I needed quotes for the article I am writing, which is on how students can be more eco-friendly. I went around to three different apartments in my complex, and stayed and hung out and chatted for a bit after I asked my questions and everything. It was a great excuse to just invite myself in and hang out for a little. Maybe I should do that more often just because?

I also went in to the Language & Letters Office today to be Academically Advised. As it turns out, I probably have four whole semesters of school left, taking about 13.5 credits a semester. I was kind of hoping that only 3 would suffice, but to pull that off I'm pretty sure I would have to take 18 credits a semester, which I am not so much all about? Also, this way I can probably take a couple classes just for fun.

I am also going to have to settle on a minor soon, but, oy vay! What a pain. At this point I think it is between Spanish, Music, and doing two Clusters (something tha BYU-I has; it is like half a minor, 12-15 credits, and you take two in place of a minor), maybe in Library Science and Journalism?
What do you think? I could use any advice you want to give.

Well, I love you all! If you haven't already, check out the silent auction for Robert Ashworth that is going on over at Karalee's Blog.

Much love!

Why I Win at Life

1) MINESWEEPER MASTERY

Oh yes. This proof of my awesomeness is so indubitable, I had to post it. Of course.

2) Cute Orchestra Guy (who shall henceforth be referred to as "Jake") asked me out last Friday. We hung out Saturday-Monday, and in the words of my roommate Jennifer, he is "sweet on me."
Which definitely qualifies as a win at life.

3) My article made the first page of the school pape.

4) I've started training for a half-marathon coming up in June! How legitimate is that?

5) I made some pretty amazing brownies this past Friday. So chocolatey.

6) My dorm room actually looks so cute (if a little messy).


And these aren't even all the reasons why!

They are just the most obvious ones.