Curry fever

I've been on the prowl for a job since, well, the beginning of December. With the expiration date of my internship fast-approaching, I was feeling the pressure.

Now, more than a dozen applications and résumés sent out and a month and a half later, I have only had one job interview. It felt like it was impossible to even get someone to e-mail me back about an opening—let alone hire me. What is

up with that?

I'll admit, I was feeling pretty frustrated this past week. I've finally kind of hit my time limit for how long "taking a break" (i.e. unemployment) was fun/relaxing/enjoyable. Instead I felt like a bum and was getting serious cabin fever. Also, I'm just barely catching up on all the cleaning I've been wanting to do. What's up with that? It was depressing to feel like all my time, energy and effort just got suc

ked into a big black hole—maybe the same one that my applications seemed to be disappearing into.

But, I got my first interview this past Friday, and I actually feel pretty confident about how I did. I liked the interviewee, who would be my boss, and the job sounds like a lot of writing—right up my alley! We'll see what happens with it. In any case, it's a good step forward and was the boost I needed to keep trying and sending résumés out there (though I would be pretty jazzed if I got an offer and didn't have to!).

I watched Outsourced on Hulu while I folded laundry. It's about an American whose company moves him to India to manage their call center there. Anyway, the whole time he was complaining about missing barbecue and hating the lack of meat, I was salivating over all their trays in the cafeteria. Indian food is a vegetarian's heaven.

In any case, it made me crave some curried deliciousness, so

Chris and I had Indian food tonight.

We got take out, matar paneer and chana masala from Star of India. It really hit the spot.

Now I'm going to put away the laundry I folded and pester Chris to finish his personal statement. Life is good.

The Year of Discipline

Happy Two Thousand and Eleven!

photo by my talented and lovely sister, Ashley Ashworth

I like setting goals. In fact, it’s something I took to doing every three months or so this past year. That works better for me; that way I have a time to stop and assess how I’ve been doing and course-correct as needed.

Chris and I sat down and made some goals to start off the new year. Mine included flossing daily, running a marathon, and starting a blog about bookbinding. Also featured was getting my house tidier/more organized and paying ¼-1/2 of my school loans.

But I’ve been thinking about myself and the things I really want to change. As I stared at my list of things to do, it seemed that most of the things on the list of goals were things I should already be doing (flossing, keeping my apartment cleaner). And I knew that it was likely that most of these things would happen—but all of them? And what would fall through the cracks?

My sister Brittany posted a link on facebook to Christine Kane's post about New Year's resolutions. She suggests a different approach; instead of setting goals, pick one word that you want to kind of encompass the change you want to see in yourself. I liked the idea.

I looked over the list and almost immediately I knew what it would be for me: discipline. I consider myself many things, but disciplined is not one of them. I think, for me, it was a way to rebel when I was younger. I’ve never liked being told what I should do. It always seemed to me that if I absolutely should do something, it would happen eventually. Like dishes getting clean or essays written, book read or even graduating from college. They happen, right?

But I guess that I’m starting to realize that somewhere along the way, I was losing control. Losing my power over my time and how I would use it. Losing my ability to focus and accomplish.

And that’s really what I’m feeling like true discipline is about—not doing things because others think I should, but rather, keeping the commitments I’ve made to myself. Getting a little follow through for all my hare-brained schemes.

So, my mantra for 2011 is discipline. Already I’ve caught myself getting off task and been able to ask myself: is this a disciplined way to do this? Is this really what I’ve committed to doing right now? Looking at my list of goals, the only way to make sure they happen? Discipline myself. Make a plan and stick to it. Become my own best friend and personal assistant.

I talked to my sister, Kristin, about this idea. She shared a quote with me that went something like this:
“You can either face the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.”

And I don’t know about you, but I’ve tried regret on for size a few times and I don’t much care for it. It’s itchy and chafes in all the wrong places. My guess is that the pain of discipline will be closer to the burn of a good work out and the delicious achiness that follows. The pain of strength.

So here’s to a regret-free 2011.

What are your goals and ambitions for the coming year? And what is your plan of action?