22 Things I've Learned in 22 Years.

I turned 22 almost two months ago. It's embarrassing that it has taken me this long to post this, but I still wanted to. It's inspired by Chris's post to his blog (26 Things I've Learned in 26 Years). So here it is, something of a summary of the wisdom I've managed to absorb over the years.

22 Things I've Learned in 22 Years

(Expanded version after the jump)

1. You can be happy anywhere.

I lived in Vegas for most of my life, and it's kind of a miserable place. It's hot and dirty and doesn't have a lot to offer good law-abiding minors. Then I went to college in Rexburg, ID — a town that proudly declares itself "America's Family Community" and has a population of 25,000 (including the 13,000 college students that live there). It was frigid and squeaky clean and pretty much the opposite of Vegas.

But both places, I found people that were great and fun and learned to love where I was. Lesson: doesn't matter where you are or how few people you know, if you are proactive, have a good attitude and are open to new people, experiences and points of view, you'll be happy. Oh, and don't forget to find a little adventure wherever you go.

2. Patience = happiness.

This might be a restatement of the above, but if you can learn patience, you can learn to be content in any circumstance. Patience looks like accepting what you have, being grateful for it and finding ways to enjoy NOW (even if when "now" may suck).

3. My parents were usually right.

Oh how I wish I would have taken the time to develop the habit of picking up after myself, as my mom had always asked me to. When I was a rebellious young lass this was just nagging. And there was that time as an 18-year old college freshman that I was convinced I needed a credit card, but my dad told me to put off getting one. Now I look back and I can see the wisdom in the advice and values my parents tried to impart to me. They were always right. Lucky for me, I still have time for what didn't get through my thick skull then to still slowly seep in.

4. Love your body—it's the only one you have.

I might not have chosen my body exactly, but it's the only one I have. And I like it. It is me. It's a major part of what makes me who I am. I try to choose to be happy with how it looks and feels, even when that changes.I may have thin lips, or a big nose, or thunder thighs, but why should those perceived flaws eclipse how wonderful my body really is?

Learning to love yourself unconditionally, inside and out, can save you a lot of agonizing, anxiety and unsurety. Treat your body well. Love how you look. Look in the mirror and think the things about your appearance you wish other people would notice or compliment. Be happy with where you are at.

5. Be delighted by small things.

Stop and smell the roses—because will they ever look and smell as lovely as they do right now?

6. Reading makes you a better person.

I really, truly believe this (says the English major). Stories give us a glimpse of what it may be like to be another person. They help us to be more empathetic and compassionate. They open our minds and can be tools for us to teach ourselves and discover truths. A good story can teach you something about the value of humanity and life. Just make sure you choose, you know, good stories (at least sometimes).

7. Record life.

Keep a journal, writing in a diary, take pictures. Blog. Find something that works for you. Document your life. Be real about when it's good and when it's hard. This is something you'll never regret.

8. Make what you care about happen.

Pretty much, be the change you want to see in the world. And yourself. Be proactive. Every three months, reevaluate priorities, set goals and make plans

9. DO what you want to be good at. Do it every day.

A creative writing professor of mine said, "Writers are those who write." It was a total, "Duh, of course," moment for me. It's the same thing for anything. Want to be a runner? Start running. Want to be a guitarist? Start strumming. Jump in and start figuring it out. Spend some time every day, not just thinking about or researching it, but actually DOING that thing. Soon enough you'll be an expert.

10. Forgive and forget.

We all have those little hurts and old wounds that we like to hang on and nurse. But all that does is give a person or circumstance another opportunity to cause us new pain every time we think about it. Anger hurts us. Sure, someone may say something unkind to me once. But how many times do I continue to be unkind to myself by repeating the offense in my head over and over and reliving the hurt?

When we forgive and forget, we free ourselves up to change and become better. We free ourselves from our pasts. And when we forgive and forget, we also give others the opportunity to change for the better, as well.

11. Stand up for what's important.

I try not to be obnoxious and argumentative. In fact, there are few things that truly ruffle my feathers. But there are some things that are important, and which I will always defend. These things include: my family, my husband, my beliefs and values, my dreams and choices. It's always better to get up the courage necessary to say, "That not true," or "That's not the right thing to do," than to regret later that I didn't do what I knew I should've.

12. Be good to family.

Here's the thing: we all have crazy families. Seriously. Everyone has a crazy family. Some are quietly neurotic, some are cheerfully dysfunctional, and others are simply raving. But all families have the ability to find and push each other's buttons.

At the same time, though, family are the people who love me the most. They are the people who have given me the most. And they will be the people I have to see, all the time. It is worth it to find ways to make that enjoyable.

13. Marry someone who knows and loves you.

I remember one time I was on a date with this guy, let's call him Drew, because that is totally what his name was. He was being cute and sorting of bragging me up to his roommate in front of me, saying something like, "She's cute, and has really pretty eyes. She draws and plays the ukulele and cello." Things like that. It was plenty cute, but I felt so underwhelmed. This guy and I had spent some time together and the things he said he liked about me were so...superficial, things that a could be said of a lot of people.

That's when I decided: I wanted to be with someone who was in love with me, not just the idea of being in love. I wanted someone who would see me, good, bad, ugly and just plain weird, and say "I can't live without her." And I wanted to love someone that same way.

And so far, it's working out really well for me. (Love you forever, CK.)

14. Laughter is always appropriate.

Because what situation couldn't be improved be a good joke and a long hardy laugh? (And note to my peeps: if my funeral doesn't closely resemble a Comedy Central roast then you never really knew or loved me.)

15. Don't take loved ones for granted.

Take a minute every day to just look at your lover and get reacquainted with their face. To think about what makes them so wonderful and special and perfect for you. Remember all the super awesome things they do for you and how they help you be a better person. Then hold onto that and treat them the blessed way they deserve. I know it sounds cliche, but it's oh-so true: make the moments count, because you never know how many you'll have.

16. Be honest.

Because lying and cheating are usually more work and trouble than the truth. Because the only things worth having in life are the things you earn, through hard honest work. Be fair to others. The golden rule. Other things like that.

17. Shake your tail feathers.

Remember the scene in Charlie's Angels where Cameron Diaz dances around in her Spiderman underwear? Enough said.

18. It can be perfect, or it can be done.

Most of the time, it's best to call it, "Close enough!" and move on with life.

19. Watch cartoons.

In your pajamas, early on a Saturday morning, with a bowl full of sugary dino bites. I recommend Spongebob, Flapjack or Family Guy. Or visit an amusement park and ride your favorite ride five times in a row. Or finger paint a picture and stick it to your fridge. Do something that makes you feel like a kid, because it will also make you feel carefree, joyful and alive. Never underestimate the benefits that a little pure fun can have on mental/emotional health.

20. Take care of yourself first.

I call this the oxygen mask principle. At the beginning of every flight, when they show you how to use the oxygen masks (God forbid you need them), they always remind you to put it on yourself and THEN help those around you to put on theirs. This way, you don't pass out from lack of oxygen yourself while helping someone else, but instead can get what you need and be able to help others. It's analogy for life: take care of yourself first, and you can then be in a position to help others.

Simply put: if you know how to fulfill your own needs, you won't depend on others to do that. Then a relationship is not about demands, not about giving to receive. Then you can give and expect nothing back, because you don't need it anyway (though it's always nice and appreciated). It's a lot easier to compromis, because you have a lot less at stake.

In summary: keeping myself happy, healthy and fulfilled is the best way to improve relationships/be a better wife/sister/daughter/eventual mother.

I hope this makes sense?

21. Be flexible.

Because things will still get done even if it isn't all according to plan. Plus your plans probably kind of sucked, anyways.

22. Listen to what other's mean, not what they say.

When your extended relative starts telling you about this new juice cleanse she's heard about and, oh, she thought she would mention it to you because maybe you'd like to try it, it's tempting to feel offended (clearly, she is calling you fat!). But, being one who frequently stuffs both feet in my mouth and can come of blunt and rude, she probably wasn't.

While it's good to practice tact (and nice to get it from others) sometimes people say things that are not exactly, erm, polite or welcomed advice. So when your aunt or whomever mentions a juice cleanse or a new product for baggy eyelids, choose to hear "You're so lovely, and I care about you and want you to look great," instead of, "You're fat and ugly and need all the help you can get." Because she likely means the former.