Let it Shine

Oh, Christmastime.

To be honest, I have felt Christmas coming on since a Wednesday in early October. I was driving to Institute, when I realized that my A/C was turned off, and yet my car was not an unpleasant temperartue. I rolled down my window, and cool air rushed past me and ruffled what little hair I have. The air smelled smokey and was--could I believe it?--chilly! Driving in the dusk, with the scent of some log burning and cool air on my face--it just felt like fall. Which, in Las Vegas, happens to descend upon us right around Thanksgiving, and sticks around through Christmas and probably even New Year's.


So, maybe it's just that it seems to have gotten cool a little earlier this year, but I am quite ready for the holidays. I have gifts for all my sisters (although some of them still require some effort, since I am making them). I have even bought myself a little somethin' somethin' (oooh Buckle, how cute all your clothes are).

As Christmas has started to take up my mental space, I have found myself imagining how I want my Christmases to look someday. You know, when I have some strapping, handsome man to call my husband and maybe a gaggle of delightful children and some cute house somewhere. (I actually do this with everything--it is one of my favorite daydreaming activities. I already have the theme [peacock feathers], colors [peacock colors/teal and ivory], dress [I plan to sew it myself, ivory, satin, gatherd at my natural waist, with a faux-lapel in an accent color], and cake [actually i just know it will have ganouche on it] of my wedding all planned out). I have considered what traditions I love (opening one gift on Christmas Eve), which ones I wouldn't mind leaving behind (that this gift was ALWAYS pajamas of some sort). What my family will have for dinner on Christmas Eve (scrumptious potatoes will definitely be on the menu), and what treats I will stuff into stockings (homemade candies, while above my skill level currently, would be delightful).

And of course, I have pictured my dream tree. Fresh of course, tall (but not too tall; seven and a half feet would do), all piney smelling. It's branches would be full; it would have a skimpy spot, but we would just turn that side to the wall. Dotted with hundreds and hundreds of fat, round bulbs (as pictured above), carefully wound around branches. Sweets strewn about it: candy canes, caramels and truffles and chocolates dressed up in fancy wrapping, cookies on strings, gingerbread men and women (having edible things on my tree is something I feel very strongly about, mmm'kay?). And most of all: colours. Lots, and LOTS of COLORS. The brightest, most beautiful colors, and lots of sparkle. I want my tree to glitter. I want it to be brimming over with life. I want everything on it to be either handmade, a gift, or both. I want my Christmas tree to be as lively, sparkly, colorful, fun, and joyful as the season is.

I want to look at it and be reminded that that is how my life should be lived, loved, felt, every day. With vivacity, with boldness. I want to look at it, and remember that I, too, shine bright. To remember how it is possible that anything is able to shine in a world so full of dimness, sorrow, lost and broken things. To remember that it all things beautiful, lovely, joyous, and light are gifts from my Savior. That though Him, even the ugliest, saddest, foulest things can be made beautiful, clean, and joyful. That even if I had a million gorgeous Christmas trees, there would not ever be enough room beneath them to fit all the blessings He gives me.


So, while it is the Season of Giving, I'll try to make some room in my heart, too, for all the Gratitude I need to fit there.

Merry Christmas.

time flies on...

So I think it's starting to really sink in that I have a pretty limited amount of time left at home. I am sad about this in a lot of ways, but mostly I just feel a motivation to kick it in gear and get all the family-loving and free-time-hugging in that I can.

I am really excited about going back up to school, though. I have been thinking about it, and I have been getting a feeling that there is something I'm meant to be doing in Rexburg. Not that I would necessarily be the president of anything, but I definitely want to be more involved. I want to start a mini-company with Tess maybe, based around handmaking, refurbishing, and upcycling, and selling the awesome stuff we make. We have also talked about putting out a monthly zine.
In any case, I'm not sure exactly what my contribution will look like, but I am pretty sure it will involve writing. I'd like it to, anyway. I do have a lot of ideas; I suppose I will just have to see which pan out.

And just a reminder, in case you needed it (I know I have): God is mindful of you. And he loves you. Like, a ton.
That warm feeling you have?
Means it's true.

Until next time, much love.

ps: if you have any cool ideas, I need a name for my company/zine. leave a comment with suggestions! leave one, really. even if it's totally silly. it is needful for you to do this. now!

So, hello again!
I have some things to share.
Firstly, I got my hair cut! I actually got it cut a while back, probably 3.5 weeks ago. It is rather short! And somewhat faux-hawkish.
I think it looks quite fabulous, even though i will probably need to get it cut again soon. All the upkeep of short hair! Also, I think I will go shorter in the back--it is starting to look a bit mullet-ish these days. Still rocking it though.

Secondly! I made my Halloween costume. I was Tinkerbell, and I must say it turned out really cute! I made everything but my dress--which I borrowed from Tess. She got it at Forever 21, I'm pretty sure.

For my hair, I stuck in bits of irridescent cellophane and ivy leaves using elastics and bobby pins. I also sprayed it with glitter (yay!).

My wings I made, using 6 wire coat hangers and irridescent cellophane. I used a hot glue gun to glue the cellophane onto the hangers, and then used the gun and yarn to put all 4 of the wings together. They were awesome but kind of big--it was somewhat difficult to get around in them!

My belt is made of braided cellophane and leaves.

The dress was a little short (scandal!), so I devised this under-slip thing to modest-ify it. I cut up an old skirt I had around that I don't wear, so that only the under layer was still there (I didn't want to ruin a cute slip, and also it already had some cute green tulle sewn to the bottom of it). A lot of white was still showing and it looked odd, so I stapled some strips of cellophane to it and walla! Perfected!


I was also going to sew some cool slippers/shoes to wear, but I only finished one---it took a long time to make! Also, pulling yarn through was hard on the my li'l fingertips. Still, the one show was cool so I'm including a pic. My plan is to finish the other and then maybe I or someone I know can sport my awesome costume next year.

These puppies was constructed with stiff felt for the soles, cut in a foot-esque shape with a pointed toe, and with softer felt for the tops. I sewed it using yarn and a yarn needle.

Majorly! Awesome news! Jinny set a date to get baptised!! It will be on November 29th, three weeks from this Saturday. I am so excited for her. It's been so cool to see the joy the gospel is bringing to her, and it brings me joy seeing how happy she is.

Referral(ly): check out Threadbangers.com! It is a totally cool DIY site that I found while surfing the web for ideas on how to spiff up my dorm room when I head back to school. It has video episodes on how to do TONS of diy stuff, especially fashion and modifying clothing. I'm pretty much in love with it!

I have more to say, but I'll find time later this week.
Much love!
elyssa J.

busy and loving it.

My lips are so chapped! They feel like two sticky halves of velcros strips rubbing against each other. Las Vegas is so dry. It's getting cold here. I am always surprised when it starts getting cold here. I sort of forget that it does that, you know?

Man, have I been busy!
I'ver been working a lot of hours at Tilly's and with Natalie. I also got my first paychecks (plural, I know. exciting!). So now I have the means to get a badly needed hair cut (YAAAY). And also, I need to pay tithing! I have been owing for a while now. It sure would be easier with a checkbook, so I wouldn't have to go and get cash out alls the time. I should order one.

I am really glad to be working more. It was hard to feel good, about myself or most anything, when I felt that I was useless and not doing anything. Not impossible. But still, it's much easier to feel good about myself at the end of a productive day.
I'm hoping I'll be able to start saving some real, serious cash soon. I would like to be able to pay for at least one semester upfront when I go back up to school.
It is very cool, though, how this whole faith thing has been working out. I really am so grateful! I know that Heavenly Father has an active, aware influence in my life. I can feel angels walking with me. I am grateful.

I love you all.

Another Yobby Yob!

So, I got that job I metioned I was interviewing for. I will be working for Natalie Littlefield, who runs a catering company. Saturday morning is my first day. I'm way excited! It has been cool how things have worked out; apparently she actually did need more help, and then I happened to call her, and the timing was perfect! I will get paid pertty well, and honestly, I'll just be excited to be making any kind of mullah. I'm axious to start saving up for my upcoming semesters at BYU-I.

I have also been slightly obsessed with thinking of ways to make my apartment all cute when I go back to school. What is up with that? I have had this crazy nesting urge, and it's seriously getting out of hand. I was helping my mom mount some fabric samples for the binders she put together for the image consulting she's doing, and was using spray mount. The ENTIRE time, I was brainstorming ways I could use that stuff (which is actually so obnoxiously sticky) to make eveything from paintings, to placemats, to appliques. And the other day at work, I got inordinately excited about changing manikins and putting up some new signs in the front of the store.
I'm starting to worry that this crazy urge might lead to my room/apartment ending up resembling a circus. Or the home of some old, eclectic lady who collects ugly teapots and volunteers weekly with an organization to spay/neuter stray animals.
These are legitimate concerns.

Stake conference this weekend! My brother-in-law, Robert, is speaking. He was diagnosed with leukemia last November, but is doing awesome now. It has been amazing how he and my sister Ashley have handled all that adversity. I'm excited to hear what he and others will have to say. It is also rumored that a general authority may be there? Which would be neat-o.

Much love!

PS: I have a severe addiction to the song "The Start of Something" by Voxtrot. So good! Give it a listen below.

thoughts/ramblings

I am trying to set up Mom's website for her, yourtuthfromtheinsideout.com, but ugh. This whole web-hosting-setup thing is harder than I thought it would be! I'm sure if/when I knuckle down, I'll be able to figure it out...hopefully.

Also, I am debating whether or not today should be a shower day. I am due for one, but my hair still looks good, which is a rare occurence! Usually, when I wake up I look like a demented cockatoo. Or maybe a cuckoo dementor.
Alls I'm saying is that I don't want to ruin a good thing.
Maybe a body shower?

I am looking forward to going back to BYU-I in January.
Main reasons for this:
-Increase in productivity.
-Getting some schooling done.
-Not feeling like a useless bum?
-Having a social life that is, shall we say, "bumpin'".
-More opportunities to date...or something.
-Tess!
Still, I am not looking forward to the cold, or being seperated from family, or being crazy stressed with school work... but I guess I'll just make the most of the hot weather, my ample spare time, and my crazy fam whilst I am here!

and old poem.

I was looking through an old notebook today and found this. I think I wrote it a little less than four years ago (and boy was I angsty!). Thought I would share it.

Asphalt Glow

When it rains, everything goes blurry.
clouds hang around the horizon,
cluttering up the mountains like foam on root beer, making
the point at which earth ends and sky begins
indistinguishable.

Everything is so slick.
The ground becomes a vast, streaky. bubbling, warped,
perpetually morphing mirror.
In the day, it is gray and dark, reflecting
the sky with all its dreary honesty.

but at night.
At night it disregards how bright and cheery,
dull or weary
things may be. At ground level,
the only thought is for the asphalt's perceptions;
it takes what it sees and forms it, reforms it, transforms it into
some magical kingdom beneath the asphalt.

orange smudges
bright, everywhere
against a backdrop of stark
black.
reds and greens occasionally bloom across the pavement,
in our world
commands to stay put or continue on our ways.
In the world beneath the asphalt,
they are streaks of magic. they could be
fireworks, or faeries.
they could be symbols,
the meanings of which we couldn't begin to comprehend.

Or maybe. in that warped and fascinating world, they
are just telling a warped girl
who's waiting with impatient foot on pedal
waiting for some shining light above to give some direction:
to stop or go,
to remain ignorant or to know;
to be stunted, or grow.

Enjoy!
love you.