busy and loving it.

My lips are so chapped! They feel like two sticky halves of velcros strips rubbing against each other. Las Vegas is so dry. It's getting cold here. I am always surprised when it starts getting cold here. I sort of forget that it does that, you know?

Man, have I been busy!
I'ver been working a lot of hours at Tilly's and with Natalie. I also got my first paychecks (plural, I know. exciting!). So now I have the means to get a badly needed hair cut (YAAAY). And also, I need to pay tithing! I have been owing for a while now. It sure would be easier with a checkbook, so I wouldn't have to go and get cash out alls the time. I should order one.

I am really glad to be working more. It was hard to feel good, about myself or most anything, when I felt that I was useless and not doing anything. Not impossible. But still, it's much easier to feel good about myself at the end of a productive day.
I'm hoping I'll be able to start saving some real, serious cash soon. I would like to be able to pay for at least one semester upfront when I go back up to school.
It is very cool, though, how this whole faith thing has been working out. I really am so grateful! I know that Heavenly Father has an active, aware influence in my life. I can feel angels walking with me. I am grateful.

I love you all.

Another Yobby Yob!

So, I got that job I metioned I was interviewing for. I will be working for Natalie Littlefield, who runs a catering company. Saturday morning is my first day. I'm way excited! It has been cool how things have worked out; apparently she actually did need more help, and then I happened to call her, and the timing was perfect! I will get paid pertty well, and honestly, I'll just be excited to be making any kind of mullah. I'm axious to start saving up for my upcoming semesters at BYU-I.

I have also been slightly obsessed with thinking of ways to make my apartment all cute when I go back to school. What is up with that? I have had this crazy nesting urge, and it's seriously getting out of hand. I was helping my mom mount some fabric samples for the binders she put together for the image consulting she's doing, and was using spray mount. The ENTIRE time, I was brainstorming ways I could use that stuff (which is actually so obnoxiously sticky) to make eveything from paintings, to placemats, to appliques. And the other day at work, I got inordinately excited about changing manikins and putting up some new signs in the front of the store.
I'm starting to worry that this crazy urge might lead to my room/apartment ending up resembling a circus. Or the home of some old, eclectic lady who collects ugly teapots and volunteers weekly with an organization to spay/neuter stray animals.
These are legitimate concerns.

Stake conference this weekend! My brother-in-law, Robert, is speaking. He was diagnosed with leukemia last November, but is doing awesome now. It has been amazing how he and my sister Ashley have handled all that adversity. I'm excited to hear what he and others will have to say. It is also rumored that a general authority may be there? Which would be neat-o.

Much love!

PS: I have a severe addiction to the song "The Start of Something" by Voxtrot. So good! Give it a listen below.

thoughts/ramblings

I am trying to set up Mom's website for her, yourtuthfromtheinsideout.com, but ugh. This whole web-hosting-setup thing is harder than I thought it would be! I'm sure if/when I knuckle down, I'll be able to figure it out...hopefully.

Also, I am debating whether or not today should be a shower day. I am due for one, but my hair still looks good, which is a rare occurence! Usually, when I wake up I look like a demented cockatoo. Or maybe a cuckoo dementor.
Alls I'm saying is that I don't want to ruin a good thing.
Maybe a body shower?

I am looking forward to going back to BYU-I in January.
Main reasons for this:
-Increase in productivity.
-Getting some schooling done.
-Not feeling like a useless bum?
-Having a social life that is, shall we say, "bumpin'".
-More opportunities to date...or something.
-Tess!
Still, I am not looking forward to the cold, or being seperated from family, or being crazy stressed with school work... but I guess I'll just make the most of the hot weather, my ample spare time, and my crazy fam whilst I am here!

and old poem.

I was looking through an old notebook today and found this. I think I wrote it a little less than four years ago (and boy was I angsty!). Thought I would share it.

Asphalt Glow

When it rains, everything goes blurry.
clouds hang around the horizon,
cluttering up the mountains like foam on root beer, making
the point at which earth ends and sky begins
indistinguishable.

Everything is so slick.
The ground becomes a vast, streaky. bubbling, warped,
perpetually morphing mirror.
In the day, it is gray and dark, reflecting
the sky with all its dreary honesty.

but at night.
At night it disregards how bright and cheery,
dull or weary
things may be. At ground level,
the only thought is for the asphalt's perceptions;
it takes what it sees and forms it, reforms it, transforms it into
some magical kingdom beneath the asphalt.

orange smudges
bright, everywhere
against a backdrop of stark
black.
reds and greens occasionally bloom across the pavement,
in our world
commands to stay put or continue on our ways.
In the world beneath the asphalt,
they are streaks of magic. they could be
fireworks, or faeries.
they could be symbols,
the meanings of which we couldn't begin to comprehend.

Or maybe. in that warped and fascinating world, they
are just telling a warped girl
who's waiting with impatient foot on pedal
waiting for some shining light above to give some direction:
to stop or go,
to remain ignorant or to know;
to be stunted, or grow.

Enjoy!
love you.

a wonderful weekend.

It really was a great weekend, filled with some of my favorite things.

There was my Dad's homemade salsa, and breakfast burritos to enjoy it on.

I listened to the living prophet speak in General Conference.

I got to hang out with my amazing family.

We were spiritually uplifted together.

We laughed together.

Watched Dirty Jobs together.

I have an interview with the woman who (helped) cater Ashley's wedding reception.

I am rested, rejuvenated, and ready to go!

So, watch out, world!

Besties.

As many in my family know, my good friend Jinny has recently started attending church and taking the missionary discussions. She had been talking for a while about finding out more about our church (I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, i.e. LDS or Mormon), and so I invited her to attend with me probably four weeks ago. She really enjoyed it! Everyone in my singles ward was really friendly. She particularly like the Sunday School lesson, which was on Faith in Jesus Christ. She has attended church with me every Sunday since, and Thursday she had her second discussion with the missionaries. She has started reading the Book of Mormon, and has felt the Spirit very strongly.

I really love Jinny. She has been an example to me for all of the four years we have been friends. She has always been very strong, loving, and generous. It has been exciting to see her faith increased, and her heart opened. It makes me so happy to see the truths that bring me joy in my life bring joy to her, as well. To see her remembering things she once knew. She has had two missionary discussions so far, and have a third next Tuesday. She really loves them. I also, have loved being their with her on this journey, to be reminded of truths, and to remember my faith, as well. As I have been with her and supported her, I have noticed that my perspective, especially spiritually, has been renewed, and my excitement about God and my relationship with Him revitalized. It has been fun, touching, and awesome. She is an amazing person, and such a great friend. We have shared a lot in the time we've been friends, and I know we'll share much more in years to come. I love her!

Jinny and me at Ashley and Robert's wedding reception.

Yesterday, I went over to Karalee's early in the morning (though not as early as originally planned--oops!), and we did yoga! Well, I did yoga, and she managed to squeeze in a couple poses before her two kids put an end to all of that. Tyler is adorable, and I love that every time she sees my she runs over and gives me a hug. She always so happy when I come over. It warms this Aunt's heart!
I also accompanied them (along with Brittany, Janelle and her two chilluns, and Ashley) to Linens'N'Things. It is closing down so they were having a big sale. I got some sheets, a rug, a mattress cover, and a throw pillow for my room when I go back up to school. Byron and Tyler were hilarious, they had these little vibrating, handheld massagers, and were running around the store with them. Byron was sure this device had to do somethign more than simply massage; so he pressed it against his chest and yell, "I'M INVIS'BLE!! YOU CAN'T SEE ME I'M INVIS'BLE!!!" We all humored him and played along with, "My goodness, where did Byron go???" and "Don't know, I can't see him anywhere!!!" Tyler didn't really get that we were pretending, and just stood there looking confused, pointing at Byron right in front of us, and saying, "Here! Here! He here! Right here!" It was adorable. I love those kids.

We also went to JoAnn's, and I got some REALLY gorgeous textured silk to make a duvet cover with. It is a rich, beautiful gold color, and I got it for SUPER cheap--only $4.50 a yd! I think my angels really worked that one out. We also ate a delicious and wholesome lunch at Panera Bread. It was great to hang out with my sisters and their cute kids.

my day in 10

1) Shaved my legs. Picked at two ingrown hairs, got mild razorburn on my right leg. But what was once hairy and scary is now smooth and sleek!
2) Cleaned my bedroom. This included vacuuming my carpet, making my bed, and dusting. How accomplished I am!
3) Bleached a few black things I have inherited from sisters. One, a tunic top, turned out really cool and almost heathered looking. A pair of capris were a bit spotty and questionable. I'll have to check them out when they dry.
4) Ate caprice salad with Brittany.
5) Read part of Preach My Gospel in preparation to sit in on Jinny's second missionary discussion tomorrow.
6) Karalee came over! We listened to Carol Tuttle's Radio Program from this week. It was about money, and other things, and was most excellent!
7) Helped Tyler with (did for her?) a Strawberry Shortcake puzzle. Also made her into monkey soup. And gave her a horsey ride. It was an eventful afternoon.
8) Attended Institute. I was only ten minutes late (!). We discussed Matthew 13, mostly, with the parables and the Gathering of Israel. I loves me some New Testament!
9) Watched some of the season premier of Pushing Daisies. Lee Pace is too yummy!
10) Was interrupted when Mom and Brittany arrived home from mutual. Assisted in kitchen clean up. Had a good convo with Momma.

It was a good day. Tomorrow will be better.
Goodnight, all.
I love you.